Anxiety

Anxiety.

A word(and feeling) I’ve been pretty familiar with since the age of 15.

Since I have anxiety surrounding my son’s medical journey it was extremely scary to share Kellan’s story. Not everyone is going to understand or maybe even like our story.

Our church has been focusing on anxiety.

It’s something people are struggling with day in and day out.

Here are some mistakes we make in these times of anxiety that our pastor shared with us:

1. Running ourselves into the ground. Check (doing it ALL and not asking for help.)

2. Shut people out. Check (Live in fear of sharing our story.)

3. Focus on the negative. Check (When in a rut—Only thinking about Kellan’s medical reports and Kellan having rough days.)

4. We forget God. (Though I always know God’s there I can without thought put anxiety in front.)

I have to tell myself “Brittany, you can’t change what the the test results say about what is happening in your son’s body. You can only change what you are doing with those results to make him better. You need to focus on God and what His calling is for your family. Even if you look crazy. You can’t run away from what God is putting on your heart just because you live in fear of what others think.”

Today our doctor said “These test results are accurate/legitimate.” I didn’t even ask nor did I believe that they weren’t accurate, but it was just something I needed to hear. It doesn’t matter what others think because here are the answers. They are accurate. Now how are you going to use this season of life to help Kellan, grow in God, and help others?

God led us to our doctor. Like in the biggest here’s your sign kind of way! He knew who we needed. He always does this, but I’m always in a panic about everything to slow down and actually let God do His job.

Why do I continue to try to run the show? Every single time He takes us right where we need to be.

Why do we fight it so bad?

Why did I fight sharing our story?

Why did I live in fear of others who don’t know us from the inside out like God does?!?

Why do I let anxiety cripple my destiny, my purpose, my freedom?

My daughter started a new school year and our last name looks nothing like it’s pronounced!!!! Her teacher pronounced it just like it looks like it should be pronounced. Ha ha ha (I did too before I really knew my husband.) Maylee told me that she would rather go by her “new” last name than to tell her teacher how to pronounce it. She really likes her teacher and I could tell by talking to her that she was anxious to correct her. I could have just wrote a note to her teacher explaining how to pronounce our last name but instead I encouraged Maylee to use her voice and kindly let her know what her “real” last name is. After I picked Maylee up from school today she said “I told my teacher how to say my last name!”

Y’all I could have pulled over and gave her the biggest hug! She over came her fear. Yes, this is a 5 year old type of fear but we can all relate!

We would rather take the path of least resistance, but that’s only letting our fear and anxiety take over our lives.

I am the worst of talking well about myself. As much as I am lifting others up I am tearing myself down on how I can do more. I’ve had many of meetings with those involved in early intervention and autism. They praise me of my hard work. Encouraging me when I am ready to join their programs to be a mentor. This could be my purpose in life but I just have to overcome those 4 mistakes above.

I would encourage you to look at the 4 mistakes above our wonderful pastor blessed us with and see if you are letting anxiety control your life.